dissolved girl

9:04 p.m., 2002-03-12

quote of the day

"I think it just goes to show that some news stories are intended to inform, and some are intended to shape popular opinion. Sincerely, Homer Simpson."

--0

and then she started to dissolve...

I'm going to try really hard not to be one of those diarists who's always whining about her special little disease. however, tonight it's the main thing going on in my life. there is that time during the month when I have to watch out, and sometimes, like tonight, I feel like I can see through my fingers straight into the keyboard, and my skin starts to get blurry around the edges. then I look at my legs and I've got fifteen more tiny, little bruises than I dd this morning, and my veins are all showing. and I've got that feeling in my head, like "Hi, I'm an aneurysm pretending to be a sinus headache."

then I start to bleed and I think, oh, so that's it. and after that I just watch to make sure I don't bleed too much, or from the wrong places. if I go to sleep, thinking everything's OK, when I should really be going to the hospital... well, fuck that. me and George C. Scott, y'know?

anyway, so moodwise I feel fine, and the boy made me a greatly healthy seaweed and sashimi dinner, so my body should have everything it needs. all the same, I'm not going anywhere for a while. just in case.

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